if I were God

So I’m sittin as this bus stop. I’m a pretty big guy these days pushin 350 plus. This little skinny kid is sittin nex to me. It’s a small bench, this kid is gettin on my nerves. It’s just me and him at this bus stop, oh and did I mention, 4 other empty benches. He keeps asking about my sweater. My wife made it for me. I think he’s snickering and laughing at my sweater. Punk kid. I’m gonna punch his little ass if he asks me about my sweater…one…more…f****ing…time… I member readin a bumper sticker earlier n the parking lot as I was walkin up to this bench, “What would Jesus do?” If I was God I would jump into this kids body and go rob a bank, why wont this kid shut the hell up. Yes, I know its after labor day, there just shoes dude, get over em. If I was God, I would just beat the crap out of this kid, take his identity and take his car. I would stop in the middle of the street and start a conversation with a hooker that I know is a undercover pig. I would get a million tickets n this kids name, come on man, I like the briefcase too, that’s why I bought it. Damn, man, just shut the hell up. I would barrel his car down back alleys and run over alley cats. I wonder if cats have nine; what?, for real, more with the questions, yes, I work downtown, that’s why I am sitting at the busf***ingstop going downtown. If I was God I wouldn’t even want to be this kid, I would be to annoyed with myself, suicide is always an option, I could probably help this kid right here and right now, staged suicides work, I could dump the gun n that burnt out house up the street. I wouldn’t want to be this kid, but I tell you what, I would park outside his bedroom window at four n the morning and honk my horn, letting his neighbor know I’m ready to pick em up. Oh and I would always park n his parkin spot, punk ass. I’d put jumbo on his hood an sugar in his gas tank, got me sweatin thinking about how I’m gonna, well I woulda jacked him up. Finally he’s gone, sit in peace. Thank God that bus aint goin downtown. What would I do if I were God? After killin him of course. I’d help out some poor homeless folks, oh and family, friends, I would definitely help out some friends. I think I would listen to people more, I guess with all the prayers, I’d hafta listen more. If I were God, I’d sit next to someone, anyone and show some interest n em. Hey, maybe that kid was God, ha, fat chance, we had some good conversations though.