milk carton

I still sometimes drink from the milk carton, if I know no one is watching, it just takes a little longer to drink through the tiny hole

I always thought my father walked on water, I know realize, he is treading water like the rest of us - AM

swimming with sharks, the water is not bloodied with fear and calamity, it is filled with courage and strength

ebbortz

It was Saturday, I drove from Pittsburgh to Cleveland.  Downstairs in the basement, Mac’s-Backs Books on Coventry, we sat amongst bookshelf after bookshelf of books, it was Poetry Without Walls though really it was poetry with walls of books.  If the world came to an end and we were the only ones left, this is where I would want to spend my days.  We all sat in a circle, on card table chairs, ebbortz sat across from me.  We all seemed to read about people and little pieces of each of our own landscapes.  ebbortz sat in front of a bookshelf labeled history.  All the books were about politicians and war, the books seemed poised and dress right dress as if standing at attention for kings and all the kings men, and here was ebbortz sitting right in front of this shelf reading earth notes, I found it surreal, like Starry Night by Vincent Van Gough though with tanks and exploding bombs.  After the reading ebbortz gave me a copy of his book, a slice of his landscape, little slices of earth with notes he penned along the way.  I was very excited, I am drawn to everyday history, history seldom told.  Bookshelves hold books of generals; life holds chapters and verse of real history.  A general did not build the mountains, they were built, minute-by-minute by working class e co-systems, ebbortz captures these earth notes.  I am drawn to everyday people; we are being faced with the loss of our father.  He is a hero to so many people though there will never be a bookshelf for him, no statue built in his honor, he will be just a moment of a memory, and a flower once photographed, an earth note in someone’s mind.  Memorial Day 1966, Pittsburgh, ebbortz captures this same sentiment, a note of a human landscape that was once there, a clarinet player touched the life of another and helped build and preserve the perspective of a another humans landscape, earthnote 208 captures the process, minute by minute.  ebbortz’s book has helped me realize, I am mourning my father before he hikes his last trail, I am building a statue of words in his honor, taking photos of places he has been, I am trying to capture how he perceived his landscapes, trying to make sure I can see what he sees, minute by minute, I watch the mountains, waiting for morning and I fear he watches the same mountains and waits for the sun to set, I try to write earth notes and capture his landscape before I am once again sitting in a circle, reading about people and little pieces of my own landscape.      

painting with a kiss

great time with a great painter

running on empty

Running on empty, bout 12 months ago, 2 houses down the alley from us caught a drive by

Bout 9 months ago, dude left his girlfriend to go back to his wife, girlfriend didn’t appreciate it, lit their house on fire, 3 houses up and across from us

Bout six months ago, round thanksgiving, we were outta town, good vaca, came back an realized both of our pitsols were missing from our house, our house that only family had access too

Bout 3 months ago, sister got her car broke into, they left a note, ISIS was here

Last week they tore down the burnt out house, now a lot of hay till the grass grows

Today, wife was home, two young men tried to force open the window on the alley side, she looked at the window and they ran up the alley, one with a red hoodie, both wearing jeans, sagging, running past the lot of grass

I always though that even if I won the lottery I would stay here, in the neighborhood I once fell in love with.  I realize now why when people to start making it, they have to leave, even people who give, take away, I had always judged famous people for leaving their digs when they made it bigs.  I see.  Even if you don’t make it, someone wants your TV, your jewelry even your life 

Just got our taxes done and got done in.  Wife finally got permanent disability last year and finally got a back payment after waiting 3 years, found out the government need that tax money, the government giveth and the government taketh away 

Couple weeks ago gotta letter from local tax agency, they did an audit and seen I earned big monies in 2012 and I’m gonna need to pay taxes on that, deployed to the great big sand box for 6 months on behalf of our great country, yep, gonna need to pay taxes on that, the government giveth and the government taketh away

Bout 2 months ago, on Library street, Amelia lost her life in the house she grew up in, 93 years old, they tied her up and took her things

Bout a year ago, started a new job, new opportunity, boss don’t think I’m doin good enough to get the promotion, 15 months later and all I can do is keep trying

Bout ten years ago, my in-laws, getting ready for a good retirement had their house fixed up, contractor fixed their own pockets, screwed up their house, cool, sue the contractors, lawyer got monies, contractor don’t show up to court, contractor gets a judgment put against them, contractor change they name and disappear, in-laws don’t get no money, struggling to keep up a house, can’t sell, too much of a loss

Tomorrow, the house security people gonna come out to the house, they gonna install cameras this, live feed that and we can see it on our cellphones stuff, they gonna get their monies, erybody gonna get there monies, cept us, we wont be able to sell this house, the money we have put into it, the retirement we trying to achieve, I’m running on empty, running on this treadmill, someone always giving and someone always taking away

one thousand days

I decided yesterday to lean forward on a journey of one thousand days.  Each day, I will take pause, I will find something, write something, draw something, photo, develop or print something, I will visit a museum, art gallery... I will do something that intersects with what I consider art.

CFD867-08 RACCOON STORY SOUND/COLOR/CAPTIONED/PRIMARY,

LANDMARKS

FORM ON THE EARTH'S SURFACE (Color) No. 2198 SC-12

CF 1528 NEW FRIENDS, PRIMARY-INTERMEDIATE, 11 MINUTES

CF 887 ADAPTION TO OCEAN ENVIRONMENTS, SOUND, COLOR , 11 MINUTES

B3613